Every month, I ask the #SilbSquad what questions they have on the topic of the month. In February, we talked all about relationships (adult friendships, significant others, etc.) I’m answering the most popular questions you had below!
Q. How did you decide to keep your last name?
A. For me, it was really a professional decision. Since I had spent so many years establishing myself and my byline in the magazine world, I felt that changing my last name would be like starting over from scratch, and I didn’t want to do that! Totally respect the tradition of taking your husband’s last name, but I’ve never really been a traditional gal.
Q. Best GF who you have drifted from due to her new BF being priority. Worth fighting for her?
A. It sounds like a lot of you are in this situation, and I know the feeling—it sucks. She’s likely just excited about her new relationship. She’s in the honeymoon phase, where all she cares about it spending time with him. (Not saying that it’s right, but it happens!) Now that she has a new person in her life, she’s probably struggling to find a new balance, and unfortunately you’re in the crosshairs of that.
I’d give her the space to enjoy her newfound relationship for a bit… let her know that you’re happy for her, and you support her, but you miss spending as much time together as you once did. If you think she’s a friend worth fighting for, absolutely fight for the friendship. However, if you continue to feel like you’re the only one making an effort and there’s no reciprocity, there’s nothing wrong with keeping your distance. She’ll eventually come to her senses. Having a significant other is amazing, but (IMO) it’ll never be a replacement for female friendships.
Q. How to deal when you get annoyed with your SO?
A. Time apart! It’s so so important for your relationship. Take a walk, call a girlfriend to vent, go get a manicure. I find that stepping away helps me to reset, and I come back way less irritable about the situation.
Q. How to keep up with friendships when they have kids and you don’t?
A. I completely relate to this, since most of my best friends have kids and I don’t. I think in the beginning it was a hard pill for me to swallow—just getting used to the idea that my friends who are moms could no longer be as spontaneous and available as they once had been. Now, for me and my girlfriends, it’s more about quality time together than quantity. We may not see each other as often or talk every day like we used to, but when we do get to hang and catch up, it almost feels more meaningful.
Q. I’m 35. In a new city. Single. Thoughts on non-cringe ways to meet people?
A. Girlllll…the #SilbSquad Facebook group! This is part of the reason why I started it. There are SO many other people in the same boat as you, you’d be shocked. It’s the perfect non-cringe way to meet other girls because you all have a mutual friend in common… me. Pro tip: in order to be approved for the group, you’ll need to answer the membership questions. Answers are rosé and Matt.
Q. Work best friend but I’m catching feelings… what do I do??
A. Ahhh I would tread lightly. Mixing work with a romantic relationship—especially when it’s your work bestie—is such a slippery slope. If possible, I would tell you to try and keep it platonic. Or look for another job and then go for it lol.